I’m starting school soon. I got admitted to the University of Texas at Arlington. I haven’t been a student in a while and I hope I still have good study habits. I need to lock down my time management lol. Between my 2 jobs as an RN and these classes, I probably won’t have much time for myself. But its ok, its temporary and this degree will help with future career opportunities. I start in May after I come back from Hawaii so at least I will have an excellent vacation before I have to lock it down. Wish me luck. =P
I work almost everyday. I keep myself busy at the gym and hanging out with friends. I travel with my family and I am so blessed that I get to see the beauty the world has to offer. But when I get a chance to stop and catch my breath the only thing I seem to think about is you…
No matter what happened between us and the way things ended. I love you today, I will love you tomorrow, and love you on the day I meet the Lord. I love you even though you’re so far away and even if you don’t love me. I dream about you quite often and I cannot seem to stop loving you…
I miss holding your hand. I miss kissing you when we stop at a red lights on our drives through the city. I miss knowing what somewhere, someone loved me in a way I can never explain through words. I miss our long conversations about our future family trips with our 4 kids. I even miss waiting in long lines at the airport because it meant that I was closer to being with you. I miss everything about you and I pray that someday we’ll find each other.
No matter what anyone say’s… I would give up my whole world to stop time and relive those moments… the moments I shared with you…
Love, Jerome De Guzman, RN
Ever listen to a song and remember your first love… yeah, this song got me right in the feels…
“"Everything, that I wanted
Only gotta drive for the moment
If you tell me “turn around,” then I’m on it
For the moment, but you know me
You know how I get when I’m lonely
I think about you and the moments
But everything you do is so Oakland, so Oakland””
maybe someday we’ll meet again? maybe in Oakland…
I loved a sad girl once. She spent so much time in the darkness I started to believe she liked it in there. She was mysterious, intriguing, intoxicating. But she loved her sadness more than she loved me. I could never compete with the demons I saw in her eyes. She thought to be alone in the world, and acted as such, unaware of the destruction she caused to the person that loved her the most. I was trying to save her, but she was unwilling, uncompromising, unchangeable. Now she is alone.
I didn’t stand a chance. No one does.
It was a nice September day in 2012. I just finished my 3rd straight 12 hour shift at the hospital. I knew I was tired but the excitement kept me wide awake. I got home, picked up my bag, my guitar and headed to the airport. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my family, but I was on my way to Seattle to see my girlfriend Adriana. We didn’t really get to see each other much but we talked for hours everyday. We were in love and it was indescribable.
I get on the plane and I can’t sleep. I try to distract myself with the inflight movie but I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of nervousness. We finally land and I take the shuttle bus to pick up my rent a car. The line seemed to move so slowly but I finally made my way to the lady at the front desk. “What brings you to Seattle?” she asked, and with a great big smile I told her, “I’m here to propose to my girlfriend.” She was surprised. Maybe because I didn’t really look the part. I was still dressed in my scrubs from the hospital and I’ve been awake for about 28 hours. She also asked, “you’re proposing with this crappy car?” I rented the cheapest car I could find and I guess the car didn’t really fit such a momentous occasion. She offered me an alternative however, a brand new Camaro and it was orange. I told her that was an amazing choice because orange is Adriana’s favorite color! But it was expensive. $300 a day for 3 days, not to mention the insurance and gas. The grand total was almost $1000 for the weekend to I had to decline even though I really wanted the car. She said she couldn’t let me drive off in anything else so she worked her magic and gave the car for $50 a day. I couldn’t say no.
After I got the car I went to the nearest flower shop for some roses, then straight to Adriana’s school. I waited outside for a while and then she finally went came out. She looked more beautiful than the last time I saw her and even though she was wearing a Chargers jersey (I’m a Seahawks fan) she still took my breath away. Now I’m even more nervous than before.
I told her I had a surprise for her. So we got in the car and drove off to Alki beach, the place by the water we had our first picnic. My palms were sweaty for the whole car ride but it was finally time for my proposal. I really didn’t think my words would be enough to convey the way I really felt so I broke out my guitar and sang her the proposal song I wrote the previous week. After the song was done I got on one knee, took out the ring, and asked “Will you marry me?” She was shocked, which was understandable, and she began to cry. But after the tears came the response, she said “YES!”
That was the happiest day of my life. She was my love and my best friend. When I sat down and thought of all my life plans, my hopes, and my dreams…. I couldn’t picture any of those things without her in it. She was my love, my best friend, and everything I hoped for in a woman. I felt really blessed that I found her and even more fortunate that she loved me too. <3